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Friday Jul 23 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

A new poll shows that Congress’ approval rating is at a record low of 11 percent. The other 89 percent are going to withhold judgment until Congress actually does something.

Democratic Congressman Charlie Rangel was charged with multiple ethics violations. Members of Congress were stunned. They had no idea there was more than one ethic.

Lindsay Lohan is surrounded by unstable people, law breakers, and bad influences. And that’s just her family during visiting hours.

Budget problems are so bad in Newark, New Jersey, that the mayor has ordered the government to stop buying toilet paper for public restrooms. They’re calling this the worst thing to happen to the state since “Jersey Shore.”

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

In the movie “Salt,” Angelina Jolie is accused of being a Russian spy. She might be a spy and she might not. She’s spy-curious.

Angelina Jolie and I are alike. She is in show business, and I — know some people in show business.

I like when celebrities use their fame to spotlight important causes. Angelina’s cause is refugees, Bono raises money for Africa, and Mel Gibson shows us what happens when an alcoholic doesn’t stop drinking.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

There’s a report that Kate Gosselin and Sarah Palin are taking their families camping together in Alaska. And it must be true, because Sarah Palin hasn’t refudiated it yet.

A woman from Washington is suing American Airlines for $5 million after they lost her luggage. When the airline said that’s a ridiculous amount of money for luggage, she was like, “Now you know how we feel.”

A new survey found that more parents are teaching their babies sign language before they learn how to talk. Babies’ favorite word in sign language? Whatever putting your whole hand in your mouth means.

A Burger King employee in Long Island was arrested for selling crack in the restaurant’s parking lot. Most people turned him down though. They were like “No thanks, that stuff’ll kill you. Can I get a double whopper with cheese and bacon, two onion rings, and a milkshake?”

 
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