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Wednesday Jul 14 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Apple is now admitting that customers are having reception problems with the new iPhone 4. In fact, today Mel Gibson said, “That’s why I was screaming into the phone. I didn’t think she could hear me.”

Fidel Castro made a rare appearance on Cuban television. It’s a new show called “Cuba’s Got Talent, but America’s Got Food, Water, Shelter, and Medicine.”

In Cincinnati, a woman gave birth to two 10-pound baby boys. The kids are named Stretch and Mark.

David Stern, the NBA commissioner, is warning that players and owners are miles apart on a new labor contract and there could be a lockout. There might not be any basketball next season. So finally some good news for Cleveland fans.

Late Show with David Letterman

Over the years, Mel Gibson has insulted Jews, African-Americans, and Mexicans. Don’t worry, if he hasn’t insulted your ethnicity yet, he’ll get around with it.

Mel Gibson’s rage on his last rant was so volcanic that they grounded flights in Europe.

George Steinbrenner turned the New York Yankees from a $10 million franchise to a billion-dollar franchise. His secret was the $9 hot dog.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Dick Cheney is recovering after minor surgery. Doctors implanted a new device called a “heart.”

Marvel Studios is looking for a new actor to play the Incredible Hulk. It’s hard because it has to be a normal person that can change to a scary monster with an anger problem. Mel Gibson is available.

Paul McCartney had demanded that a hamburger joint in England remove pictures of The Beatles because he’s a vegetarian. He also demanded that they let Ringo keep his job flipping burgers.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

After complaints about women being forced to wear veils on their face, the French parliament approved a ban on burqas. It is, however, still legal in France to wear the same sour-smelling shirt 20 days in a row.

South Korea has new robots along its border with North Korea that can detect and kill intruders. Meanwhile they're installing robots along the U.S. border that say “Hola.”

A new study found that women have better memories than men. Also, listen to this. A new study found that women have better memories than men.

At the British Open, Tiger Woods will be playing with a new putter for the first time in 11 years. If I were him, I'd keep that a secret. You don't want to go around announcing you stuck with a putter longer than you stuck with a wife.

 
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