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Wednesday Jul 07 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

It was so hot in New York City that Mel Gibson called Al Sharpton just to get the cold shoulder.

Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise visit to Iraq. It was a surprise for Biden because he thought he was going to Des Moines for a fundraiser.

Kellogg’s has recalled 28 million boxes of cereal like Fruit Loops and Sugar Smacks after people noticed a bad odor. I think it’s called rotting teeth.

Tiger Woods played at the AT&T national golf tournament and he said that fans gave him a great reception. Which is the only time you’ll hear the words “great reception” and “AT&T” in the same sentence.

Late Show with David Letterman

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The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

I’m excited tonight because I’m going to Vegas to appear at The Venetian. It’s the authentic Italian experience — in Nevada.

When I was growing up I wanted to be a doctor but then I heard about the studying, so I settled for prescribing myself medications on the street.

My favorite TV doctor is Dr. Phil. I admit he’s not a real doctor, but so what? In fact, if I got sick I’d rather see Dr. Seuss.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

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Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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