Wednesday Jun 30 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner


Late Show with David Letterman

It was so nice out today that teenage vampires were out walking around in the daylight.

Sunday is July 4, which means three days of drinking responsibly.

Larry King has announced his retirement, saying he wants to spend more time with his wives.

Larry has really been trying to slow down since his recent death.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Reasons Larry King Is Retiring

He's 126 years old
High definition format scared children and the elderly
Didn't mean to retire, he forgot he still had a show
Wants to focus on his second career as a barn owl
It's not easy juggling a television show, marriage, and an affair with your wife's sister
Suspender rash
Lately, introduces every guest as "The lovely Ms. Carol Channing"
Couldn't handle pressure of coming up with questions like "What's your favorite lunch meat?"
Well, there's this (videotape of Larry King stuttering trying to say "E. coli")
He needs time to plan his divorce
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

BP executives are saying that Hurricane Alex has rendered their clean-up efforts completely useless. In other words, nothing has changed.

Larry King announced his retirement. In my eyes, Larry King really is a king. But I also think Wolf Blitzer is a wolf.

America’s not only losing a broadcaster, but I’m also losing one of the few people I do an impression of.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Sunday is July 4, the day we declared independence from the British and their petroleum.

If you’re planning to use fireworks this year, it’s important to check local laws and figure out how you can get around them.

The third “Twilight” movie opened at midnight. They were predicting it to be the most successful vampire movie since “Love at First Bite 2.”

For the first time since the tournament began, there was no World Cup action today, which turned out to not be much different from when there is World Cup action.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon


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