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Friday Apr 09 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

In Afghanistan, President Hamid Karzai is mad at the United States. We said his government is riddled with bribes, corruption, and pay-offs. I guess they’re trying to pass healthcare over there too.

According to the Pentagon, al-Qaida has been so weakened financially that they’re turning to crimes like drugs, prostitution, and adjustable-rate mortgages.

An Irish airline has announced that it will charge $1.50 to use the toilet on the airplane. A lot of people will find a whole new use for the airsick bag.

In South Africa, a 96-year-old man has become the world’s oldest bungee jumper. The funeral will be this Tuesday.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

A man in Pennsylvania was arrested for leaving marijuana in his son’s Elmo backpack. The cops became suspicious when Elmo laughed for two hours without being tickled.

Happy Birthday to Hugh Hefner, he turned 84 today. He must be the toughest person to buy a gift for. I mean what do you get for the guy who’s had everyone?

A Bank of America employee in North Carolina was arrested for installing a program on ATM machines so he could steal thousands of dollars. If convicted, the man faces a sentence of 20 years, 40 years, 60 years, or “other amount.”

A man from Thailand spent three extra years in an Indonesian prison because of a typo. It turns out he only roped a cow.

 
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