Friday Apr 02 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner


Late Show with David Letterman

This Sunday is Easter, the holiest day in Christianity. We celebrated by feeding the kids chocolate. Because honestly, if there’s one thing the kids need, it’s more sweets.

Today, crack dealers here in New York City switched to Peeps.

This year, the White House Easter egg hunt was canceled because last year, when they had the Easter egg hunt, a couple of kids stumbled into Dick Cheney’s torture chamber.

I like the new tiny, gas-saving cars. They’re smaller and they have fewer seats, sort of like the Democrats in November.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs Your Baseball Team Isn't Ready For The Season

Your spring training begins in June
Only thing they tested positive for was cheese fries
Outfielders following Justin Bieber on tour
Manager spends hour after hour practicing free throws
You get winded standing for the national anthem
When writers compare clean-up hitter to Ruth, they mean Ruth Bader Ginsburg
Instead of giving signs, third base coach screams, "Bunt, you fat bastard!"
Tomorrow, whole team scheduled to undergo Tommy John surgery
General manager used payroll trying to build a hot tub time machine
Your star pitcher defected to Cuba
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It’s a big weekend for Apple, because the iPad comes out, although its thunder was stolen last week when Ricky Martin did the same thing.

“Clash of the Titans” does look pretty good because it’s based on Greek mythology and has the Greek icons: Zeus, Mount Olympus, the big fat weddings.

The iPad comes out on Saturday and then on Sunday, the improved iPad comes out, which you will actually want to buy.

Jimmy Kimmel Live


Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Under President Obama's new airport security plan, anyone traveling to the U.S. will be stopped if they match the description of a potential terrorist. Wait, we weren’t doing this already?

Last night, President Obama gave a speech at the Boston Opera House. It was a long night, because you know what they say about the opera: It ain’t over ‘til the fat lady gets lectured on her eating habits by Michelle Obama.

President Obama unveiled a new gas mileage program that he says is “like taking 58 million cars off the road for an entire year.” Or as Toyota calls it, “business as usual.”

Ford is teaming up with Microsoft to create an all-electric car called the “Microsoft Hohm.” That’s smart. Because if there’s one company that knows how to avoid crashes, it’s Microsoft.

Top Stories

Newsmax, Moneynews, Newsmax Health, and Independent. American. are registered trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc. Newsmax TV, and Newsmax World are trademarks of Newsmax Media, Inc.

America's News Page
©  Newsmax Media, Inc.
All Rights Reserved