Friday Mar 26 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Today in Arizona, John McCain and Sarah Palin appeared together at a campaign rally. Palin gave her standard stump speech, which means you ask a question, and she’s stumped.

Passover is coming up and Israel is warning its citizens to beware of fake, pirated matzo. Those responsible could be sent to Israel’s toughest prison: “Un-Leavenworth.”

A Southern California teacher has been arrested for allegedly teaching while drunk. They could tell she was wasted. She was even willing to sleep with the ugly students.

Wikipedia was offline after an overheating problem at one of its data centers. It was pretty bad. For a while there, people had nowhere to go for phony, inaccurate information.

Late Show with David Letterman


The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Legendary movie producer Roger Corman is making a movie for the Sci-Fi channel. It’s about a creature that’s half shark and half octopus: “Sharktopus.” Take that, Avatar.

Corman is the king of low budget filmmaking. He’s famous for cheap sets, second-hand costumes, bad lighting . . . Does he produce this show by any chance?

They brought back the 3-D movies, so why can’t they bring back the drive-in movies? I know why: Toyotas.

Jimmy Kimmel Live


Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

President Obama was at a bookstore in Iowa yesterday and he bought a $37 pop-up book for Press Secretary Robert Gibbs’ son. Gibbs said, “It’s a little expensive, sir” and Obama said, “I can handle it.” Then he called the president of China and said, “Can I borrow 37 bucks?”

Happy birthday to Leonard Nimoy, who turned 79 today. He celebrated by punching anyone who told him to live long and prosper.

A woman in Chicago is suing a movie theater for $50,000 after an armrest hit her head while she was talking on her cell phone during a movie. Meanwhile the armrest is being rewarded with $50,000.

A woman in Britain said that her pet goldfish survived for seven hours in the open air outside of his tank, which is a world record — for goldfish torture. In the fish world, that’s known as “airboarding.”

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