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Thursday Mar 18 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Although yesterday was Saint Patrick’s Day, Republicans want to declare March 18 as “Saint Obama Day.” They want to honor the president for driving all the Democrats out of Washington.

Thank God for Joe Biden. Yesterday he was addressing the prime minister of Ireland and said that the guy’s mom once lived in Long Island, following it up with “God rest her soul . . .” Then said, “Oh wait — your mom’s still alive. It’s your dad . . .”

Joe Biden just can’t get it right. Luckily it was Saint Patrick’s Day. The prime minister was too drunk to notice.

John Paul Stevens, the 88-year-old Supreme Court justice, said he’s considering retiring. Either that or playing for the Minnesota Vikings.

Late Show with David Letterman

Rerun

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Rerun

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

We’ve had some great match-ups so far for March Madness. BYU vs. Florida; Old Dominion vs. Notre Dame; Obama vs. Fox News.

One of President Obama’s childhood friends just found a photo of Obama as a schoolboy taken more than 40 years ago. It’s just him and some kids, playing little Barack’s favorite schoolyard game, “Give the Speech.”

I don’t know if you guys knew this, but Obama was a great ball player when he was a kid. But naturally, the other team never let him pass anything.

A Wal-Mart employee in Michigan was fired after he tested positive for medical marijuana. Customers at his store were like, "I knew the official greeting wasn't 'Wassup bro?'"

 
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