Wednesday Mar 17 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Today we celebrate Saint Patrick, the guy that drove all of the Toyotas out of Ireland.

To celebrate Saint Patrick’s Day, President Obama spoke with the wee Dennis Kucinich.

Continental Airlines has begun charging customers for seats with extra leg room. It’s just an illusion. After your wallet becomes thinner, you can sit further back in the seat.

The American College of Cardiology says that over-exercise can be as bad for your heart as no exercise at all. This could affect nearly two Americans.

Late Show with David Letterman

I drank my first bottle of green beer, and I felt horrible. It turned out to be Scope.

Mayor Bloomberg has done a remarkable job. Yesterday, he was twice mistaken for a leprechaun.

Tax time is right around the corner. My accountant says I could save a lot of money if I move the show to the Canary Islands.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things Overheard At The Saint Patrick's Day Parade

"I had no idea the Irish were such big drinkers"
"Look away, kids"
"Hey, a leprechaun. Oh, sorry Mayor"
"How did I get here?"
"I thought this was a 'Fire Dave Letterman' rally"
"Where are my pants?"
"Oh no . . . liver exploded"
"How did I get here and where are my pants?"
"When do they drop the ball?"
"Obama better pass healthcare because I'm gonna be sick as hell tomorrow"
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson


Jimmy Kimmel Live


Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

It was a beautiful day here in New York for the Saint Patrick’s Day parade — over 60 degrees outside! I guess it’s just that old “Luck o’ the Global Warming.”

In Irish lore, leprechauns hide their pots of gold at the end of the rainbow. But here in New York, things are a little different — at the end of the rainbow, there’s just a gay bar.

Ohio Congressman Dennis Kucinich announced that he will vote for President Obama’s healthcare bill. The one condition is that Obama had to carry him on his shoulders so he could see the Saint Patrick's Day Parade.

President Obama went on Fox News tonight to pitch his plan for healthcare reform. Obama going on Fox News? That’s like John Edwards going on “The Marriage Ref.”

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