Tiger Woods is in a lot of trouble. Not only are rumors flying about an alleged affair, he crashed his Cadillac Escalade into a tree. Now the environmentalists are mad. A gas guzzler into a tree! Now Al Gore will get into it.
Now there’s going to be a movie made about it. It’s going to be called, “Crouching Tiger, Crunching Escalade.”
Thanksgiving is over. It was kind of an awkward one for John Edwards. His relatives asked him to bring his favorite side dish, and he showed up with a cocktail waitress.
At the White House state dinner last night, Nancy Pelosi rolled her eyes and blew off a reporter when asked who made her gown. It was a huge deal. Not the question — the fact that Nancy Pelosi changed her facial expression.
The couple who crashed the White House state dinner was supposed to be on “Larry King Live” tonight but they canceled their appearance. Apparently, they didn’t feel right showing up to a place where they were actually invited.
There’s a new children’s book that’s coming out that features Sarah Palin as the hero. I don’t want to give away the ending, but we finally find out who shot Bambi’s mother.
A top Iranian official says Iran had no intention of building new nuclear facilities — until they were recently criticized by the U.N. It’s all part of the country’s official motto: “Iran: We’re 5 Years Old.”
The Los Angeles Clippers have suspended their TV announcers because they made a racist remark about an Iranian player during the TV broadcast. I’m shocked by this — why would anyone televise a Clippers game?
The White House Christmas tree was unveiled today. Actually, it was a regular tree that snuck in past security.
I think we should give the Secret Service a break over this security breach the other night. When they heard there was a crazy couple in the White House, they just assumed it was the Bidens.
When I say the Bidens are crazy, of course I mean Joe Biden. Mrs. Biden’s not crazy.