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Wednesday Feb 17 2010

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Conan

Late Show with David Letterman

The Canadian government is saying that because of the snow shortage in Vancouver, that if you’re shoveling your driveways, just Fedex it to them.

There’s a bit of a scandal in men’s figure skating at the Olympics. Three skaters have tested positive for “fabulous.”

In curling, they get a 40 lb. granite stone and send it down the ice and then they sweep the debris from in front of it. It’s all the fun of shuffleboard, plus household chores.

PETA was outside the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show last night protesting. They want the dogs to stop wearing fur.

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Surprising Facts About Curling

10
Every year it's watched by dozens of people
9
Consistently ranked the world's no. 1 broom-related sport
8
It's a lot like hockey, minus the speed and excitement
7
No no. 7 — writer fell asleep while researching curling facts
6
Not to be confused with Norwegian sport "Carling" where you push a guy named Carl across ice
5
Longest match ever: unknown, because no one ever stays till the end
4
No no. 4 — writer still asleep. Damn, curling is boring
3
Mickey Rourke making film about washed-up curling legend who comes back for one last big curl
2
Thing they slide down the ice is called "Thing they slide down the ice"
1
No one cares
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Thanks for choosing us over delayed women’s curling.

Curling is so boring, it makes bowling look like wrestling.

I watched this figure skater, Johnny Weir, last night. He dresses very flamboyantly, which kind of reminds me of myself at his age. He’s like the Lady Gaga of the Winter Olympics.

Tiger Woods called a press conference for Friday morning. Only select journalists will be invited and no questions will be taken. Essentially, we’re going to listen to him read. Maybe he’ll announce a new batch of mistresses for 2010.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

 
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