Monday Feb 15 2010

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner


Late Show with David Letterman

Today is President’s Day, a three day weekend for most people. Remember President George Bush? Everyday was a three day weekend for him.

Yesterday there was a big feud between Dick Cheney and Joe Biden. Cheney is upset with Biden because when Biden moved into the White House, he closed up Cheney’s dungeon.

I’m not sure about this. Do you really want to get into a feud with a guy that shoots people?

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Things George Washington Would Say If He Were Alive Today

"Thanks for using my birthday to sell mattresses"
"If you think Regis is crazy now, you should have seen him in college"
"What the hell is a Lady Gaga?"
"I cannot tell a lie — both my taste buds and my wallet approve of Subway's Five Dollar Foot-long"
"Racing elevators seems like a tremendous waste of valuable technology"
"Watch out! Runaway Toyota!"
"The effects in 'Avatar' are wonderful, but the plot is nothing"
"Ever done it with a guy who's on Mount Rushmore?"
"If you elect Sarah Palin, please let me know so I can roll over in my grave"
"I cannot tell a lie — this Top Ten List blows"
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Today is President’s Day, a day that we celebrate America’s presidential history by enjoying a great deal on mattresses.

Scientists are saying that being bored can actually be bad for your health. You should probably change the channel.

I have mixed feelings about the Winter Olympics. I have a hard time taking an athlete seriously when he’s dressed like Lady Gaga.

Sometimes it feels like the judges randomly pick a score. I’m like, “Are you high?” Of course, you can’t judge anything if you’re high — unless you’re Paula Abdul.

Jimmy Kimmel Live


Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

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