North Korea is negotiating to broadcast the "Teletubbies." They have to make changes for North Korean TV. For starters, every episode will end with one of the Teletubbies being executed. And, of course, every Teletubby will have Kim Jung Un's haircut.

CNN announced that Anthony Bourdain's show is taking over Piers Morgan's time slot. Anthony is a culinary expert who loves good food. His show is the highest-rated series on CNN. But let's be honest. The highest-rated series on CNN is like being the least drunk Australian.

Anthony Bourdain wrote books about food. Hey, let's play "Books About Food." There's "The Ketchup on the Rye." "To Grill a Mockingbird." "The Burritos of Madison County." "Lord of the Onion Rings." "50 Shades of Gravy." "Harry Pot Roast."

I'm announcing my retirement. I'm announcing my retirement for a couple of minutes until the commercials are over and then I'm making a comeback.

Apparently a lot of people are naming their kids after characters from "Game of Thrones." The name "Khaleesi" has gone way up. What better way to be reminded of gratuitous sex and violence than whenever you call your child.

I love "Game of Thrones." But don't name your baby "Khaleesi." If not for your kid's sake, do it for the poor baristas at Starbucks.