Tuesday Dec 10 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

The world said goodbye today to Nelson Mandela. And what a life he lived. He spent 27 years in prison and then ascended to become president of his country. He went from prison to politics. It was exactly the opposite of how we do it in this country.

Kanye West said he wants to be the "Obama of clothing." To achieve his goal, he's designing fashions that nobody wants and offering them on a website that doesn't work.

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are among Barbara Walters' "10 most fascinating people of 2013." In a related story, Barbara has been named one of the "10 most easily fascinated people of 2013."

This is the greatest guy story of all time. A man in China committed suicide at a shopping mall by jumping seven stories to his death after his girlfriend said she wanted to visit just one more shoe store. The guy couldn’t take it — talk about "shop 'til you drop"!


Some are saying that while at Nelson Mandela's memorial, President Obama flirted with the female prime minister of Denmark right in front of Michelle Obama. Man, if President Obama felt that the flight to South Africa was long, can you imagine the way home?

Due to inflation, a cup of coffee in Russia costs $8.30. In other words, they now have Starbucks in Russia.

President Obama shook hands with Cuban dictator Raul Castro. Or as Fox News reported it, "Foreign communist shakes hands with the leader of Cuba."

Jimmy Kimmel Live

They say Tom Hanks is the nicest guy in Hollywood. I don't agree. He sent me a fruit basket to thank me for having him on the show. It had a lot of green melon in it. Who likes green melon? Nobody, that's who. So, no thanks, Tom Hanks, you monster.

The organizing committee for the Super Bowl announced they will not allow tailgate parties at Met Life Stadium before the game. Who tailgates in February in New Jersey?

There is a new baby product that's causing controversy. It is a newborn-to-toddler activity seat. It is a baby seat with a built-in iPad holder. Since when are we giving iPads to infants? When did that happen?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends that children under 2 not be exposed to screens like iPads because it can impede their brain development. Although if it keeps the kid quiet while I'm at Costco, let's bring that brain development to a halt.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

New documents leaked by Edward Snowden show that the NSA actually spied on people while they played the video game World of Warcraft. I don't know — to me it sounds like some NSA agents had to think quick when they got caught playing World of Warcraft at work.

President Obama released a video this week to encourage kids to learn how to write computer code. Then he said, "Preferably, in the next two or three weeks. It would really help me out of a jam."

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