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Wednesday Nov 20 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Here we go again. Freshman Congressman Trey Radel of Florida has been arrested for possession of cocaine in Washington, D.C. He admitted he is an alcoholic and pled guilty to possession of cocaine. The judge sentenced him to four years as mayor of Toronto.

Toronto's city council has voted to drastically reduce Mayor Rob Ford's powers. They say this reduces him to a "mere figurehead" — which still sounds better than "crackhead."

To make matters worse for Mayor Ford, his reality show was canceled after one airing. They are calling this guy the most embarrassing Ford since the Pinto.

The ratings for Al Jazeera America has now dipped even lower than Al Gore's Current TV, which it replaced. That's how you know you're boring, OK? When Al Gore is considered more entertaining to people than what you have.

Conan

Members of the tea party gathered outside the White House to demand President Obama's impeachment. The president said he appreciated their views and he is setting up a new website where they can voice their opinion.

Everyone is talking about Toronto's crack-smoking mayor. His reality show has been canceled after one episode. That is the difference between the U.S. and Canada. In America, when somebody goes off the rails we RENEW their reality show.

Last night during a TV special, magician David Blaine performed magic for Kanye West. Blaine performed an amazing trick where he got Kanye to not talk about Kanye for eight seconds.

Late Show with David Letterman

Thieves have stolen a half a million dollars' worth of Red Bull. They're described as armed, dangerous, and ready to go.

It's the 150th anniversary of the Gettysburg Address. They have a guy going around the country reciting the Gettysburg Address dressed up like Lincoln. He has all of the mannerisms. He even has the golf swing. It's unbelievable.

Happy birthday to Joe Biden. He's 71 years old. President Obama called Biden into the Oval Office and instructed Joe to go to his birthday party for Obama.

The U.S. may be close to a deal with Iran. Here's how the deal would break down. They shut down their nuclear arsenal and in return the United States will shut down George Zimmerman.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

We are coming to you with only two commercial breaks tonight. It will almost be like HBO, only with less nudity.

The two commercial breaks is made possible by HP, which stands for Hewlett-Packard, one of the world's biggest tech companies. HP started in a garage. Google started in a garage. Microsoft and Apple started in a garage. Maybe we should be spending less money on education and more money on garages.

Let's get every nerd in America a garage.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

It’s been a rough couple of weeks for President Obama. It’s so bad that a new poll found that Mitt Romney would beat Obama if Americans could vote for president again today. He even asked if there's any way we can have a do-over. Not Romney, Obama.

Obama and other Democrats have even stopped using the term “Obamacare,” when referring to the new healthcare law. Yeah, now they’re calling it "The Affordable Care Act." Americans were like, "Just let us know when you can call it 'fixed.'"

Happy Birthday to Vice President Joe Biden, who turned 71 years old today. Biden wore a party hat, carried balloons, and ate cake for lunch. So he was especially happy when they told him it was also his birthday.

A company in France is selling a new robot that can play with kids and read them bedtime stories. Kids are calling it a cool and innovative thing to eventually discuss with their therapists.

 
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