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Friday Jul 10 2009

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

Conan

Big day for the president — earlier today in Vatican City, President Obama had a historic meeting with Pope Benedict XVI. Or, as Fox News is reporting it, “Obama caught with old man in dress.”

This is a big deal though — President Obama had a private 35-minute meeting at the Vatican with Pope Benedict. That’s right, the man considered by millions of followers to be infallible had a meeting with Pope Benedict.

Today, many newspapers around the country featured a picture from Italy where it appears President Obama is checking out a woman’s rear-end. Which is surprising because usually the only ass Obama has to keep his eye on is Joe Biden.

Of course, the president’s in Africa now. CNN’s Anderson Cooper landed an exclusive interview with President Obama in Ghana. So now Obama’s challenge will be to somehow pick Anderson Cooper out of a crowd of Africans.

Late Show with David Letterman

Bernie Madoff going away for 150 years. His wife, Ruth, was left with 2 ½ million dollars. The confiscated everything. She lost her house, her car, her savings . . . it’s like being a Bernie Madoff client.

Frightening times with all these crazy dictators. But they’re all small, really. Kim Jong Il? Tiny guy. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Tiny guy. Mayor Bloomberg? Tiny guy.

Over the weekend, North Korea test-fired several missiles — their way of say, “Iran’s not the craziest country, we are.”

Late Show with David Letterman- Late Show Top Ten

Top Ten Signs You're Staying At The Same Hotel As Osama Bin Laden

10. He's registered under the name Osama bin Johnson
9. Sign on the door reads: do not disturb, infidel pig dog
8. The predator drone circling above the pool bar
7. Clumps of camel hair in the jacuzzi
6. Guy in the room next door keeps shouting, "Death to overpriced minibar snacks!"
5. Maid leaves a chocolate-covered goat's eye on your pillow
4. Main ballroom is booked for the 9th Annual Jihaddy Awards
3. You get on an empty elevator, but all the buttons are pushed and that's so bin Laden
2. You overhear concierge say, "We don't offer turndown service for your turban"
1. George W. Bush can't find the hotel
The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

 
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