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Wednesday Oct 23 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

The Obama administration has now asked Verizon to help fix the Obamacare website. Verizon wasn't the president's first choice. He initially reached out to T-Mobile, but they dropped the call.

Consumer Reports is now recommending that people sit back and wait a few weeks until the government fixes the problems. Really, a few weeks? When was the last time the government fixed anything in a few weeks? We still have troops in Korea, OK?

A new book claims that John F. Kennedy's brain was stolen by his brother Bobby. That seems almost unbelievable, doesn't it? — that there was once a time in this country when politicians actually had brains worth stealing.

The Dodgers manager, Don Mattingly, said that just because he has a contract and took his team to first place in their division doesn't mean he'll be back next year. Hey, tell me about it!

Conan

Despite all of the website problems, the approval rating for Obamacare has gone up. Unfortunately, I can't give you the exact number because it's listed on the Obamacare website.

Pope Francis suspended a bishop for spending too much on home renovations. The Pope caught the bishop filming an episode of "Flip This Church."

A new study says that due to debt, 20-somethings will retire 12 years later than their parents do. When they heard this, 20-somethings said, "Retire from what?"

Today the city of Detroit went before a judge to prove it is eligible for bankruptcy. Yeah, all they did was walk into a Detroit courtroom and point out the window.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Halloween is just over a week away now. When it comes to candy bars, the term fun-sized is misleading. There is nothing fun about your candy bar being 1/8 the size of a regular bar. You should call them what they are: “disappointment-sized.”

Market research released a list of America's favorite Halloween candies. No. 1 is Reese's Peanut Butter Cups. Can't argue with that. This year's least favorite candy — Lentil M&M's.

Despite our love of candy and fast food, the number of Americans who will live to be 100 years or older will increase dramatically. In 2010 there were 53,000 centenarians in the United States, and I have driven behind every single one.

If you hit 110 years old, you become what now is labeled as a super-centenarian. Should we be putting the word "super" in front of someone who has no powers at all?

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

The Obamacare website has all these glitches and now tech experts are saying that the only way to fix it is to completely start over and redesign the whole website from scratch. While the guys from the Geek Squad said, "Turn it off, wait five seconds, and then plug it back in."

Only 12 percent of Americans think the rollout of Obamacare is going well, while 100 percent of Republicans think the rollout of Obamacare is going GREAT.

With all the trouble with the Obamacare website, 12 percent of Americans actually think it's going well. Then people waiting for healthcare said, “Can you share some of the drugs you're on with the rest of us?”

Here's some more news out of Washington. The White House has fired one of its national security officials for setting up an anonymous Twitter account that was leaking internal information. President Obama called the invasion of privacy “unacceptable,” while Americans called it “karma.”

 
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