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Friday Oct 18 2013

Late Show with David Letterman

The United States government is back in business. Congress got together and ended the shutdown. Boy, that was easy.

I am really glad the shutdown is over. I'll tell you something, it was very lonely being the only nonessential employee who was working.

Scientists indicate that Oreo cookies are the most addictive snack in the world. That's what scientists have come up with. They're spending our scientific dollars — nothing yet on cancer, but Oreo cookies are the most addictive snack.

If you get addicted to Oreo cookies, you don't go to Betty Ford. You go to Betty Crocker.

Sylvester Stallone and his buddy Arnold Schwarzenegger have teamed up, and they've got a blockbuster action movie opening this weekend. They're a little older now than they use to be, but go see the movie. It's called "Escape From Assisted Living."

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

There is a big movie opening today. I'm very excited about it. It's called "Escape Plan." It stars Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger, the two biggest Hollywood tough guys — of 1988.

Hopefully, "Escape Plan" has subtitles.

"Escape Plan" was directed by a guy from Sweden. He originally wanted a Swedish action star to be in the movie. Who would that be? Harrison Fjord?

The Swedish director ended up casting Arnold because he knew Arnold could fill theaters. And that's just with his illegitimate kids.

There's going to be a Broadway musical version of Stallone's "Rocky." Apparently, the "Rocky" musical is playing in Germany right now, and it's doing very well. But in Germany, instead of "Yo, Adrian," Rocky says, "Papers please, Adrian."

 
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