Monday Oct 14 2013

Late Show with David Letterman

How many of you are only here because you had trouble signing up for Obamacare?

Over the weekend I got on the computer and I tried to sign up for Obamacare. I had no trouble whatsoever. I signed right up for Obamacare and ordered six months of Mexican Viagra.

There was a Columbus Day parade here in New York City. Columbus thought he landed in India. Instead he landed in the Bahamas. If he were alive today he'd be running an Italian cruise ship.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It is yet another bad day for the American government. It's still shut down — Shut down like the New York Giants.

I can't believe it's Columbus day already. I haven't even taken down my Arbor Day decorations.

Columbus Day, of course, is the day we pay tribute to the most exciting city in central Ohio.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Today was day 14 of the government shutdown. I am starting to forget what it is like to have a government. There was a guy with big ears and a suit who talked about hope. That is all gone.

Just when you think that Congress could not do anything less, they manage to. At this point the government is like a house on Halloween that turns out the lights and leaves a bowl of candy on the front porch.

On Thursday the Bears beat the Giants. Usually the Giants lose on Sundays but they wanted to get it in early this week so they could enjoy the weekend.

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