Friday Sep 27 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

We are three days away from a government shutdown. And two days away from a total collapse if you’re a New York Giants fan.

Speaking of 0 and 3 teams, to help boost attendance, the Jacksonville Jaguars are offering fans two free beers if they buy a ticket for this weekend's game. Two beers — is that going to be enough to help you forget you're rooting for the Jacksonville Jaguars?

O.J. Simpson was caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. How far has O.J. fallen? Here's a guy who got away with murder and now he can't get even steal a couple of cookies.

O.J. is huge. Even though he's in jail, he's still considered at large.

Late Show with David Letterman

I'll tell you a sure sign that it's autumn in New York City. The Yankees have gone into hibernation.

Some people got together and set a new world record in Times Square yesterday for twerking. And still Vladimir Putin says Americans aren't exceptional.

The post office is raising the price of stamps again. I heard that and said to myself, "If only there was an inexpensive electronic way of communicating."

O.J. Simpson has been arrested in prison. He was caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. Do you get the feeling that O.J.'s not even trying anymore? But O.J. is vowing to find the real cookie thief.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Albuquerque's economy will take a hit because “Breaking Bad” is coming to an end. Man, that's bad news. If only there was some way for them to make some quick cash.

O.J. Simpson was recently caught stealing cookies from the cafeteria of his Nevada prison. Simpson says he did not steal the cookies, but he’s writing a book about how he WOULD'VE done it.

That’s right, O.J. was caught stealing cookies from the prison cafeteria. Unfortunately, officials blew the case when they had him stick his hand in the cookie jar and it wouldn't fit.

This was actually creating a lot of controversy today. The maker of Barilla pasta is facing criticism after saying that he would not show gay families in his company's ads. The gay community said they would definitely boycott — you know, if they still ate carbs.

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