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Monday Sep 09 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

President Obama is going to address the nation on Syria tomorrow night, which means here on NBC “America's Got Talent” will be delayed by “America's Got Problems.”

President Obama is talking tough. He said he will not rest until Syrian President Assad's power has been reduced to the point where he’s on "Dancing With the Stars."

Samsung has unveiled its new smartwatch. It will go on sale later this month in 140 countries. It's a smartphone wristwatch. Experts say this could revolutionize the way senators play poker at Senate hearings.

New York Fashion Week is in full swing. This is a time when today's hottest models show off all the latest eating disorders.

Conan

Tokyo has been named the host of the 2020 Olympics despite concerns about the radiation leak. That explains the Tokyo Olympics official mascot — a three-headed Hello Kitty.

Las Vegas is about to unveil what will be the world's largest Ferris wheel. They are billing it as a new way to throw up on the streets of Las Vegas.

In Iowa, blind people are now eligible to receive a gun permit. Blind people say it's time they had a chance to express themselves with something other than jazz.

The fiance of Miley Cyrus is considering breaking it off in part because of her performance at the VMAs. He told Miley, "I'm sorry, but our relationship isn't twerking."

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

The game show "Million Second Quiz" will be on 24 hours a day for 12 days, although NBC is showing it only one hour a night. People can watch the rest live on the Internet. Who'd watch a game show on the Internet? People who are tired of looking at videos of kitty cats.

I think "Million Second Quiz" will do Ok. Why? It's hosted by America's perky sweetheart, Ryan Seacrest.

I like game shows. There have been some pretty weird ones over the years, like "Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?" Or as I called it, "No."

Other game shows have included "Are You Drunker Than an Irishman?" and "Who Wants to Be Mel Gibson's Designated Driver?"

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Dennis Rodman left for North Korea last week. Unfortunately, he came back.

Rodman went to North Korea for a second time to meet with his friend Kim Jong Un. Is it possible that Kim Jong Un thinks that Rodman is President Obama?

Rodman claims that he was asked to train the North Korean basketball team. He said the team is hungry. Not for players, for food.

This Rodman friendship is beyond the imagination. Not since Hitler and Sea Biscuit has there been a more unconventional athlete-dictator relationship.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Yesterday the New York Jets won their season opener against Tampa Bay. Yeah, the Jets won. The Buccaneers' coach said, "I don't know what happened out there," while the Jets' coach said, "I don't know what happened out there."

Serena Williams won her 17th Grand Slam title at the U.S. Open. I haven't seen that many Grand Slams since Chris Christie went out to Denny's with me the other night.

President Obama did six TV interviews today to explain his decision to strike Syria. Yeah, six. Even Ryan Seacrest was like, “That guy's on too many shows.”

Officials in Iowa are facing criticism over a new law that lets blind people own guns. The law has actually received support from two major groups: the NRA and deer.

 
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