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Wednesday Sep 04 2013

The Tonight Show with Jay Leno Banner

John McCain was caught playing video poker on his iPhone during the Senate hearings the other day. Everybody is criticizing McCain, but compared to what other politicians are doing on their iPhones, that's not so bad, OK?

President Obama is asking Congress to support a military strike in Syria. If they approve, it will be the first time Congress has officially declared war since Obamacare.

All week president Obama has been saying he will seek congressional approval for the strike but he insists he doesn’t really need it. When asked by the media if he was sending mixed messages, the president said: "Yes and no."

President Obama says the lack of response to Syria so far does not threaten his credibility. And you know something, he's right. The economy, Benghazi, the spying scandal — that threatens his credibility, but this other stuff, no.

Conan

Senator John McCain is under fire for being caught playing poker on his smartphone during a Senate hearing on Syria. Even worse, it was strip poker.

Tonight begins Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year, kicking off the year 5774. It's calculated by counting the number of years since Larry King's bar mitzvah.

The new football video game "Madden NFL 25" has a feature that lets you control the career of a player over several seasons. So you can move Tim Tebow to fullback, trade Tony Romo from the Cowboys, or plead guilty for Aaron Hernandez with just the touch of a button.

This weekend Burger King announced it will offer a new french fry burger. So finally a solution to the problem of having to reach for fries between bites of your burger.

Late Show with David Letterman

Senator John McCain, during a Senate session on whether we're going to teach Syria a lesson, was caught playing online poker. I was stunned. John McCain knows how to use a computer? Really?

It's a beautiful day here in New York City. It was so nice that Diana Nyad swam back to Cuba.

Happy Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish new year. It's 5774. It's hard to believe we've been doing this show since 5754.

Are you excited about the new iPhone? Every two months we get a new iPhone. This one is thinner, lighter weight, and more slender. So it's much easier to lose in a cab.

The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson

It's L.A.'s birthday today. It was founded in 1781 by the Spanish. You may want to sit down for this: People in L.A. used to speak Spanish.

In 1781, Spanish explorers put down their flag and declared, "On this ground we will one day make horrible movies."

The film industry actually started out on the East Coast. About 100 years ago, studios moved here. There was a lot of cocaine use back then. That's why everyone in silent films moves so fast.

L.A. has a very diverse population, very multicultural. It's the only place where you can find Mexican restaurants with Indian waiters.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Senator John McCain got caught in an embarrassing moment yesterday. A photographer caught him playing poker on his phone during the first public hearing on the potential action in Syria. Sounds like something Anthony Weiner would have been caught doing.

While some believe it may be inappropriate to play a video game while the committee is deciding whether or not to kill people and start a war, I say the man is 114 years old, John McCain, so we should be impressed that he is even wearing pants.

They announced the new cast of "Dancing With the Stars" this morning. As is the custom, President Obama introduced the new cast at a press conference on the White House lawn.

This will be the 17th season of "Dancing With the Stars," but still with no stars.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Senator John McCain was spotted playing poker on his iPhone during a hearing on Syria yesterday. Actually, it turns out it's not so bad when you hear that another group of senators was playing poker with actual cards.

McCain was playing poker during a hearing. The worst part is that he didn't even know he was playing poker. He was just trying to text his wife. “How'd I lose $1,500 asking Cindy what's for dinner?”

The new season of "Sesame Street" will focus more on problem solving. When he heard that, Obama said, "What time's that show on?"

A new study found that using Facebook has actually changed how our brains work. Yeah, it's true. Before Facebook, when you said you liked something, you actually did.

 
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