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Wednesday Aug 21 2013

Late Show with David Letterman

A couple of days ago they found a great white shark dead on a subway car in New York, and today he's chowder at Red Lobster. Yep, they found him on surveillance tape going down the stairs and through the turnstile. He seemed perfectly healthy.

A shark in the subway. This is what happens when you don't have stop-and-frisk. The police had an autopsy done on the shark, and they found a tourist from Cincinnati. The shark was apparently in town for shark week.

So you have your regular Oreos and they have Double Stuf Oreos. Somebody measured the things, and it turns out there is not twice the amount of stuff as in the regular Oreos. No double ammonium bicarbonate, no double thiamine mononitrate, no double calcium phosphate.

Now if you are at home measuring stuff in an Oreo, you should take a long, hard look at your life. I'll tell you something else right now, we wouldn't have to worry about stuff like this if New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie was president.

 
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