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Tuesday Aug 20 2013

Late Show with David Letterman

Recently, in one of the New York City subway cars, they found a dead shark. Other passengers just thought he was sleeping so they didn't say anything. The Transit authority suspects foul play.

This is bad for the city because now there's been a huge drop in marine predator tourism. People used to laugh at me for carrying a spear gun on the subway, but who's laughing now?

So former President George W. Bush had to go into the hospital, had a little heart surgery and he's OK, but he blames it all on the fatty foods served by White House butler Forest Whitaker.

Doctors told him to avoid any heavy exertion, so that means no reading. He had a little touch of coronary artery disease. One of his arteries was clogged with old Al Gore ballots.

 
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