'South Park' to Lampoon Tiger Woods

Tuesday, 16 Mar 2010 04:37 PM

By James Hirsen

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The Left Coast Report: A Political Look at Hollywood

A Newsmax Report

Headlines (Scroll down for complete stories):
1. ‘South Park’ to Lampoon Tiger Woods
2. ‘Green Zone’ Flick Flops
3. Sean Penn Defends Hugo Chavez Again
4. Hugo Chavez Seeks to Censor the Internet
5. ‘Remember Me’ Less Than Memorable

1. ‘South Park’ to Lampoon Tiger Woods

Having lampooned Tom Cruise and Mel Gibson, among others, it was inevitable that the long running Comedy Central hit, “South Park,” would go after Tiger Woods.

The legendary golfer will be in the crosshairs of satirists Trey Parker and Matt Stone for the opening episode of the 14th season of the animated series.

A toon version of Tiger will have to deal with the likes of Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman, as the “South Park” kids make fun of the most highly reported tabloid story in the last two years.

“There's a delicacy in talking about [Woods] that we don't have to worry about,” Stone told The Associated Press.

Stone suggested that he and Parker have enough material to have Tiger-oriented episodes for an entire season.

In the previously referred to upcoming program, Woods’ animated alter ego will hold a press conference during which he’ll explain himself, much like the real Woods did in February at Ponte Vedra Beach, Fla.

Stone indicated that he was both fascinated and disgusted by Woods' apology.

While the real Tiger admitted to cheating on his wife, Elin Nordegren, the animated press conference will likely take a different tack.

“It’s such an important issue in America right now — the sex addiction outbreak,” Stone told The Associated Press. “We're all really concerned about him and hope he gets better.”


2. ‘Green Zone’ Flick Flops

Matt Damon has been quite successful with his own established “Bourne” franchise.

But the actor has unfortunately attached himself to a regurgitation of the left's anti-Iraq war hyperbole.

Even after a slew of films such as “In the Valley of Elah,” “Rendition” and “Redacted” failed at the box-office, Damon's latest movie, “Green Zone,” attempts to go even further in its anti-American screed.

The film basically blames American leaders for the actions of terrorists.

“Green Zone” pretentiously wields the hand camera to try and artsy up the tiresome, agenda-driven work. Stale and overdone, it didn’t draw nearly the audience that its $100 million budget and sizable star power should have commanded.

Instead, with a paltry $14.5 million, it came in a distant second to the “Alice in Wonderland” second weekend take of $62 million.


3. Sean Penn Defends Hugo Chavez Again

Sean Penn is once again praising the brutal Venezuelan dictator, Hugo Chavez.

In a recent appearance on HBO’s “Real Time with Bill Maher,” Penn slammed Chavez’s critics who call the socialist leader what he is, a dictator.

The actor noted that Chavez has won repeated elections and actually went as far as saying that media critics who refer to Chavez as a dictator should be jailed.

“Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it. And this is mainstream media. There should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies,” Penn said.

“We are hypnotized by the media. Who do you know here who's gone through 14 of the most transparent elections on the globe, and has been elected democratically, as Hugo Chavez?” Penn added.

At a televised rally in Caracas, Chavez expressed gratitude to Penn, saying, “I was reading the declarations from our friend Sean Penn, the famous American actor. Penn defended what he considers to be the truth.”

The dictator then gushed, “From here, I thank you very much.”

Penn, Oliver Stone, and Danny Glover essentially head up L.A.’s Hugo Chavez fan club.

According to the Tinseltown trio, the Organization of American States was off base when it accused Chavez of human rights violations.


4. Hugo Chavez Seeks to Censor the Internet

Proving how seriously deluded his Hollywood defenders are, Hugo Chavez recently announced that he wants to take over the Internet in his country.

China has engaged in such oppressive Internet censorship that tech giant Google has threatened to pull out of that country.

Now Chavez evidently wants to get in on the cyber speech suppression. He has called for stricter regulation of the Internet.

“The Internet cannot be something open where anything is said and done. No, every country has to apply its own rules and norms,” Chavez said on Venezuelan television.

When this kind of rhetoric flows from the mouth of a despot who has already demonstrated his willingness to close down radio and television stations, it’s pretty clear what’s coming next.

Referring specifically to a Web site that criticized Chavez's brutal policies, the dictator called the publication “a crime.”

“I have information that this page periodically publishes stories calling for a coup d’etat. That cannot be permitted,” Chavez said.


5. ‘Remember Me’ Less Than Memorable

Allen Coulter is best known for the cable television standouts “Six Feet Under” and “The Sopranos.” The director explores even darker themes in the current big-screen release “Remember Me.”

Robert Pattinson is both a producer and lead actor in the movie, and there’s a pretty obvious effort to capitalize on the wildly popular “Twilight” momentum. Included throughout the flick are plenty of the trademark brooding, passion, and angry outbursts that typify Pattinson’s James Dean-like character.

In “Remember Me,” Pattinson plays Tyler, a chain-smoking sullen young man who works in a bookstore. Tyler is consumed with bitterness toward his power-wielding lawyer dad who is played with frigid aloofness by Pierce Brosnan.

Tyler is traumatized by his older brother's suicide. At one point the young man is arrested and roughed up by a police officer, who is played by Chris Cooper. On a dare from his roommate, and the chance to get back at the officer, Tyler begins a relationship with Ally (Emilie de Ravin of “Lost”), the cop’s daughter.

The two fall hopelessly in love as expected; that is until Ally discovers that their romance began with a lie. They eventually get back together — also as expected.

Tyler’s big brother's protective relationship with his sweet, mildly eccentric younger sister provides some of the most enjoyable and heart-warming scenes in the film. Tyler rescues Caroline, played by Ruby Jerins, from some “Carrie”-like cruelty at the hands of her fellow classmates and also helps facilitate the healing of some of the daddy-daughter psychological scars.

In viewing “Remember Me,” be prepared to be emotionally manipulated by what writer Will Fetters has done with the screenplay’s conclusion. The movie uses, as a lowly plot device, the most serious attack on the U.S.’ continental soil.

In an apparent attempt to gain word of mouth publicity and possibly generate some much sought-after controversy, the Sept. 11 tragedy is used to provide a surprise ending twist to what is essentially a mediocre screenplay.

However, the gravity of the attack and rawness of our collective wounds make the movie entertainment aspects of the 9/11 inclusion in the plotline unacceptable and unseemly. In addition, the ending doesn’t suit the storyline and appears to be tacked on for effect.

All of this apparently hasn't helped “Remember Me” in its opening weekend. The film came in fourth with only $8.3 million in ticket sales.

One positive element that could come from the film is that, through the inclusion of the twin towers tragedy, viewers may be reminded that we do indeed have fallen heroes and beloved family members and friends that we are forever sworn to remember.

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