Relationships are hard to form and even harder to break. Breakups can be tough on everyone involved, but may become inevitable. A time may come when you fall out of love and the relationship no longer serves you. Done in the right way, a non-messy break-up will take the sting out of the whole event.
Try these time-tested ways to make your breakup less traumatic:
1. If you realize that you have fallen out of love with your partner, it is best not to drag on the relationship under the illusion that things will become okay again. The moment you realize that things are turning sour, discuss it openly with your partner.
2. Be honest. Talk freely with your partner. Try to figure out why the partnership did not work. It will help you to better understand your faults and eventually serve as the foundation for future relationships.
3. Give your breakup a personal touch. It is the coward’s way out to tell your partner over the phone that you no longer wish to be with them. Writing a letter is a better option, but the best way is to meet and talk like mature adults. Talking can help get your message across clearly.
4. Lend an ear to your partner. You may not care about what he or she is saying, but make an effort to listen. Your partner may be trying to coax you into not breaking up, but don’t let that influence your decision or scare you. These final few moments before you say goodbye to a relationship, which you had once nurtured with love, are important.
5. Don’t breakup in public. It may be the last straw for an already distraught partner. Avoid places that you both have fond memories of. Once you have broken the news, try not to stick around for a long period of time.
6. If you have found someone else, don’t cheat on your partner by dating your newfound love before the final separation. You may lose your credibility with both your ex as well as your new partner.
7. Be mature and don’t go around talking badly about your ex after the breakup. It may be an emotional cover up for your guilt, but it’s not fair to your ex who is probably already feeling low. Don’t be enemies, even if you are no longer friends.
8. Be kind to your ex. (That doesn’t mean that your former partner’s requests to not end the relationship should make you retract your decision.)
9. Once the decision has been made, leave the whole thing behind you. Give your partner time to cope in his or her own way.
10. Don’t feel guilty about the breakup. Everything changes with time, even your preferences. As you travel down the passage of time, things that appealed to you earlier might not seem so attractive later on. So don’t crush yourself beneath the weight of guilt. Move on.
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