How to Break Up

Friday, 01 Oct 2010 12:36 PM

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Breaking up can hurt, especially when a couple has been together for a long time. There are infinite factors that may lead to this bitter event: change in circumstances, people, and situations that brought people together may even lead them to split up. Though there is no point in keeping up something both people are not committed to, both partners should feel the need to split up without rancor. A smooth end to a relationship is often the result of careful break-up planning.
 
After deciding you want to break up, one of the main concerns is how to go ahead without hurting the other person. Usually, when breaking up, one partner is not ready, while the other has already realized the end of the relationship. Sensitively convincing the other person that the relationship is not working is important. This involves talking about your relationship and what is not right. Both partners need to spell out what they sought in the relationship and see why it could not be worked out. The discussion may leave your partner broken hearted and questioning your motivation. When face to face discussions fail, it might be helpful to talk to a counselor or a family member in confidence.
 
Your partner may become bitter about being dumped. Anger provides the broken hearted an emotional release, before acceptance sets in. Your partner needs reassurance that life after the break up will be better for him or her too. A private and direct conversation is less cruel than an e-mail or a remote communication, and will let your partner come to terms with the split.
 
Breaking up is best done at home, though it might mean one of you will have to move out. If however, your partner intimidates you with physical threats, it is important to leave without furthering the conversation. If you are planning to break up with a violent partner, you need to first distance yourself from him or her and maybe take legal action.
 
The bigger part of break-up planning is mending the emotions of the broken hearts: Self-doubt and depression can creep in long afterafter you dump someone or get dumped. The time immediately following a break up is the time for you to examine the positives in your life and allow you to move on.

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