Every day on my radio program I urge people to stand up for their values. I warn them that there will be a cost — sometimes even a high cost — but that the quality of any culture is determined by what it stands for and holds dear.
Recently, I got together for lunch with some friends. One of them, a man, came in late and said he had been with a woman who was giving birth. We asked if Mom and child were fine. He said, yes, and explained that he was the new mother's birth coach.
I asked, "Really? Where was the dad?" He told us that this was an old girlfriend of his and she asked for his assistance during the birth because there is no dad — she had decided to get impregnated and have a child on her own.
As you would expect, my eyeballs popped out of my head. "What, I wonder, will be her explanation when the kid asks why he doesn't have a dad?"
His response was one that has grown in popularity since the 1960s: "It is what she wants, she asked me to help, and I said yes." His response did not answer the question because there is no good answer. He went on to say that she didn't want to wait for a relationship and kept going back to that it was her decision.
What does that mean? That any decision a person makes is OK simply because it is her decision? What?!
I said, "I cannot see how anyone can justify intentionally robbing a child of a father. That is morally horrendous to do to a child simply because the adult can't form a committed relationship."
With that comment, he stormed out.
I texted him that I was sorry his feelings were hurt. Astonishingly, he wrote that he would come back if I recanted my "morally horrendous" statement. I responded that of course I could not because it is my belief that it is simply wrong to intentionally hurt a child for one's own emotional needs.
I am wondering if because our society has gone so far over to the "one-should-not-judge” side that he, like so many others, is actually surprised when there are negative reactions.
Your values should never be compromised simply because they may seem outdated or if they fall out of favor with what's trendy or what others think — even if your friends shun you. We all have to answer to ourselves. Here’s the bottom line: The less you stand up for values, the fewer values there will be for anyone to live by.
Dr. Laura (Laura Schlessinger) is a well-known radio personality and best-selling author. She appears regularly on many television shows and in many publications. Read more reports from Dr. Laura — Click Here Now.
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